Heart Hypnotizer

I feel like a turd, girl
I feel basically like a Arby's roast beef
You got my heart, mamma
You could be my eternal flame, babe



Oh say, can you see
My American fist
Blasting your communist face?


John Mayer (the singer)

Your voice sounds like you are parched
I could watch your tour bus while you go get a drink of water
(I actually will steal his tour bus and do crimes in it)
Do you feel better now that you got somethin to drink, friend?
Okay, here is your tour bus back.
( I hooked up a bomb onto it)



Nice hat
Nice can of PBR
Nice conductor's hat
Nice pre-stained-up jeans
Nice tattoo of a star
Nice asthma inhaler
Nice prosthetic arm
Nice cane


These 3 guys Who Were At My Job Orientating Meeting

These lab technicians who got hired where I work were full-on jags
I take that back--One of them was okay (even though we have private restrooms and he forgot to lock the door and I walked in on him going crap) but I got along with him okay. But the other two ones were idiots and they just talked about business and politics. They were fresh out of college.
And they still knew about quadratic equation and algebra etc. etc.
Everybody acted impressed when the short one said something about the stock market. (I acted casual. But I was impressed.)

Home - Music - Prank Calls - Archives - Contact